Couples seek relationship and marriage counseling for a variety of reasons. Among the most common are conflicts about sex, money, alcohol or drugs, parenting, in-laws, family tragedy, or infidelity.
With the exception of a family tragedy, or, infidelity, rarely has a couple presented with a current issue. More often, the couples I work with have been struggling with their issues for a year or more and sometimes for many years. While it's true most couples attempt to settle their troubles on their own, often the most difficult issues are left unresolved and pushed aside because something more important is needing attention in the relationship: an illness arises, a child needs extra time, work schedules collide, and the issue gets swept under the carpet. The counseling environment can provide a safe and calm place to discuss your issues without distraction and find the solutions you are seeking. Marriage counseling sessions are generally scheduled once a week, goals are identified, and solutions and options discussed. If your marriage is in imminent crisis, sessions can be scheduled more frequently and this would be assessed in your first session.
Infidelity is traumatic, it literally shakes your world and the foundation you thought you had in your relationship. It is not uncommon to feel shock, to feel numb, to feel rage, to feel despair. Precisely because of these feelings and emotions it is important to seek counseling to begin sorting through what options truly exist for you. What to do? Separate? Divorce? Try to blindly move past this?
If the infidelity has just been revealed, you are not in an emotional or psychological state to make such a life-changing decision. And, while many believe that an infidelity is the automatic end of the relationship, that is not true. Most couples faced with this trauma choose to seek counseling in order to save the relationship, to understand what has happened, what led your partner to being unfaithful, and what needs to happen for both of you to have the relationship you want to thrive.
If you are unhappy in your marriage, don't wait another day , call and seek counseling to get your marriage back on tract, and to be happy in your marriage. Call me today. 732-458-2550 I look forward to hearing from you and working with you. Sincerely, Janice Nardi, LMFT